Seemingly Simple Is Bullshit

Apr 24, 2019

When dealing with anxiety, “seemingly simple” things can take years to accomplish.

Calling those things “seemingly simple” is bullshit — an incredibly effective way to devalue the truth of an experience.

I went to a coffeehouse for the first time by myself – after more than a year of telling myself to “get out of the house” and “visit a coffeehouse” over and over.

There has been a wall of resistance and inertia to overcome anytime I want to leave the home. Not just a coffeehouse, but going to the store, seeing a friend, and – believe it or not – going to a dance event.

I realized how many of my social quirks still exist in my nervous system.

After a year of not following through on my intention to go to a coffeehouse/library, the win was in just showing up.

As “simple” as that sounds, it was an expansive experience.

The realization hit later – on why I was feeling so much anxiety during, and self-judgement after, this experience.

It’s in the phrasing of the first sentence of this post:

“When dealing with anxiety, “seemingly simple” things can take years to accomplish.”

Seemingly Simple.
… and it’s bullshit.

Yes, it might be “seemingly simple” to others to go to a coffeehouse.

But for me – it obviously wasn’t.

It was an experience of growth.

“Seemingly simple” is a judgement for what “is/was.”

A judgement for the experience I was -actually- having.

Thinking that I shouldn’t have felt socially awkward in those moments,
but I did.

Thinking that I shouldn’t be having this experience,
but I did.

Thinking that I shouldn’t have those anxieties in my nervous system,
but I did – and do.

It has nothing to do with the coffeehouse,
but the judgement of that experience.

An experience of personal GROWTH.

Going to a coffeehouse might not be an experience of growth for you,
but for me it was.

And you will have experiences of growth,
that aren’t for me.

It’s not fair to devalue -any- experience of growth,
just because it’s “simple” or not growth to someone else.

Just because it’s not normal
does not make it less valuable to have
or important to pursue

“Seemingly normal” is bullshit.
Growth is growth.
On your terms.
In your experience.