Outside vs. Inside Thoughts

Glimmering Butterfly Project – Day 07

My thoughts tend to be oriented towards the outside. By that I mean that when I think of something, when I do something, or when I think of doing something, my first thought is imagining how that would look to the perspective of another person. I wonder what they might think, what they might say, how I might justify it.

But my thoughts are just my own. They might be “valid concerns,” but they’re just inside my head.

And even if they were valid, or even so far as to say they were real … my thoughts are still my own. 95% of the time I’m not actually near anyone, so why be so outward focused? Why not stay with myself?

Why not just be in this moment? Why not think for myself, by myself, without even factoring in “others”?

This has been one of the hardest things for me over the years. Through the Glimmering Butterfly Project, it’s been getting easier to stay inward, to listen only to my own thoughts and my heart. It’s not perfect, but I’m getting there.