“These will be my Burner clothes!” has been an excuse for the more “extreme” unconventional clothing choices I have, yet I don’t have the courage to say “… I just like these because I like them.”
My lesson this year is the importance of “seeing yourself.”
For me this means literally looking in the mirror at myself, seeing myself in a video doing something, or listening to a recording and hearing what I’m actually saying.
When I am in my own head, I have a very jaded perception of who I am and what I am capable of.
I usually think LESS of myself, I think I don’t sound great or can’t articulate.
I think that I am not doing anything with my life or that I am not growing.
When I record a video of myself and speak my truth in that moment – and then watch it back, I am almost mesmerized at the growth I have made in recent months and years. Of seeing who I am in this moment.
Because I automatically think I am “still behind,” or that “I am not making progress,” but when I see myself through my own eyes, and not my own limiting THOUGHTS, I see the growth, I see who I literally am, and what I am literally saying.
The action of expressing myself – in what I say, the attire, the makeup …
It’s an empowering feeling.
As I was recording this video I knew I was likely going to share it in a private group that is open and safe and encouraging.
Yet, as I recorded the video and then watched it – the whole process, as I talk about in the video, NORMALIZES it.
Suddenly it’s not so scary to be yourself in a private group. It went from ‘probably won’t share…’ at the start to, ‘… eh, whatever, no big deal.’
So what’s the next zone of discomfort to seek?
Posting it publicly.
I’ve done this a few times and learned that the benefits have so far always outweighed the negative. And it’s never as bad as I fear.
My first day of my ‘Energy Leak Week’ ends up being unproductive in my original intent, but directly engages my heart and what I call the ‘private self.’
This, I believe, is one of the many unseen benefits of listening to your heart even when it goes against logic (“sure, take a week off of work and follow your heart to take care of what’s important even though you’re supposed to building a business”).
The more time I spend with the “private self,” the more calm, present, and connected I end up being with myself.
It has a positive spill over into other areas of my life – like this unexpected detour into a meditation and then this video.
Greater self-acceptance and courage can be cultivated in these moments.
And so when I feel that tug of the heart, it ends up being quite worthwhile to deviate from logical plans.
Because who can say what the unforeseeable benefits will be of stepping way out of my comfort zone, practicing self acceptance, cultivating courage by expressing, and putting myself in the theoretical spotlight of potential judgment (in the name of being authentic) will be?
“Seek Discomfort” hangs on my wall, seen out of the corner of my eye every single day – and continues to remind me to use it as a filter on how to engage with my own life.
To seek discomfort in the name of being authentic and following my heart.
It doesn’t need to make sense. It just needs to feel true and expansive.
If I acknowledge my fear and “do it anyway,” then I grow stronger as an individual with more resiliency to be who I am in the world.
And right now I can think of no better thing for me to do than to find my own voice – and use it.
Especially when it’s scary.