This post is free form and with minimal edits, just as I wrote them down during my meditation. Italics indicate follow-up thoughts.
- I like to talk about XYZ … I like the idea … or being associated by it … less so doing XYZ.
- -> And I want to reverse that.
- -> I want to be more driven, internally, by doing what I believe in & feel called to do … and less by talking about it or being associated by it.
- Urges/Emotions aren’t necessarily “real.” They’re real in the sense that they are THERE (which is okay) … but they aren’t real in that I don’t need to act on them or make decisions based on them.
- Sometimes music is a filler, not an enhancer.
- Sometimes it’s a distraction, a “need” … not an enjoyment.
- I am frustrated that I’m stalling again …. that I’m not self-motivated … that almost 25% of 2018 is done and I am still just tip-toeing forward … and I love that.
- Chin up. Looking down is NOT YOUR AVERAGE.
- Looking down is teaching yourself that you are not as valuable AS YOU ARE!
- What are you hoping to “get a group for”? What are you trying to teach or explain things or excite them about? → Those are things YOU need to be doing, and be willing to do them solo and w/o ever telling anyone or them finding out.
- I don’t NEED to be connected to Messenger, text, email, Facebook, ALL THE TIME.
I am getting back into the consistency of doing meditation. And by “getting back” I mean I’m on day 2 of a non-official mission to meditate daily (or more accurately, to connect to myself and my heart daily).
I’ve been continuing the Entrepreneurial Shift series from Evolving Out Loud (albeit, a couple weeks behind the group), and yesterday (Day 9) involved meditation.
Ever since I experienced “connecting to the heart,” truly, for the first time with that intensity, in December 2017 … I’ve known that meditation, connecting to myself, and not consciously (or unconsciously) choosing addictive/distracting behaviors … is the most valuable thing I should be doing. Which makes it frustrating when I don’t do it. I know what I need to do and I don’t do it. And that teaches my nervous system that I am not worth the effort, not worth the time, not worth the investment.
The momentum of my day, the quality of my day… How I “feel” about a day is often predicated by how I set myself up in the morning. I can still have some good days even if I don’t meditate in the morning, but it’s such a black and white difference when I’m spending my time…
Meditating, reading books, reviewing my own notes + vision, journaling, writing posts like these, talking thoughts out loud…
Versus… Getting on Facebook, watching Youtube videos, playing games (knowing that I ‘need’ to do those things above)…
So today, although it’s a few hours past the start of my day (due to some outside circumstances that I let dictate my direction), how I plan to orient my day is to first take care of myself. Meditation is done. Now it’s cleaning my environment: my room, my digital space, decluttering, tossing notes, and so on. Meditation was #1 for my day, and one of my three minimum tasks to “Win the Day.” #2 is Website Development (Anchor Room, fwWesties, and FindA.Dance/FWD calendar updates), and #3 is Burning Man registration. Besides those three, cleaning my room and doing at least one more EShift video is on my agenda.
As I’m writing this post, I recall feeling like starting a private Facebook Group to use for “accountability” on a daily basis. Maybe I can use a section on the website here. Ultimately it’s for me, bonus if a group/thing can help others.