Captain's Crusade | 2018 Direction | Setting the Stage

I remember…

This past year being the year I grew the most. I grew so much in this past year that I grew more in the past 12 months than I have in the past 5 years combined.

For starters, I had my own place. I’ve been living around Fort Wayne for a while, especially as I continue to work with Melissa through dance. But this home was just a base of operations for me. I traveled quite a bit as the year went on, both for dance things as well as to attend other events, seminars, and to otherwise enjoy moments of adventure and exploration.

Every couple of months I was bouncing somewhere different. An interesting mix of dance, personal development, curiosity, meeting people, and new experiences. I still came back to my home every time, but those regular outings gave me a very different perspective of the world and kept me energized every time I came back.

I was using my new home as the start of Connection Cove. When I rented out that Airbnb in early January, it became the catalyst for me to realize just how important it was to have my own place. With my own place I could arrange things in a way that made most sense for me, that brought more excitement to my life, and it also gave me that little bit of independence and confidence to be myself in all ways, no restrictions.

I made sure that my environment brought me to life. If I didn’t want something in it, it was gone. If I wanted something, I found it, bought it, or created it. My home was my temple, my headquarters for a life of fulfillment. Many of my biggest projects and advancements took place in that home.

During 2018 I remember developing my concept of what Connection Cove was at the time, to become a haven and retreat for myself, traveling dancers, and others that just needed a little time away. While my home at first was this same concept on a smaller scale, I started to identify what was needed to create the real Connection Cove on a larger scale, but also started building connections that would help me bring that idea to life.

This past year was a year of living courageously, but trusting the flight of a butterfly. Even though at the start I couldn’t financially justify having my own place, the simple act of getting my own place enabled me to feel more confident, feel more responsible, more obligated for my own growth.

Opportunities started showing up very early in the year. Not just in dance, but in my online businesses, the connections I was creating with other people in my life, and new ideas that were showing up – and I was executing on – every single day.

My financial situation cleared itself up in just a matter of months. I went from barely making any money to feeling financially secure. And from there, I really started to ramp up my income so that I could not only secure myself, but also start investing more proactively into other people, causes, and projects.

I was even rooming with some incredible people, too. These were people that were similarly oriented towards personal growth and challenging themselves (and others) to live their best lives. Although they may have been on different journeys, and at different points, we all worked together to bring each-other alive and to keep one another on their chosen path.

I remember using my new place as a haven for these kinds of people. Both local people as well as travelers, particularly dance people as well. Whether those people were specifically hyper-focused on personal growth and working on their “goals,” I remember my place being a momentary haven for people that needed a little connection, a moment to get away, a place to work on themselves – just as I needed for myself at the time.

I remember that my progression through dance kept accelerating as the year went on. I was more proactive about practicing on my own and with people that likewise wanted to work on their dance. Not only did my West Coast Swing take off in ways I couldn’t have even fathomed at the beginning, but my ability to dance in all of the major dances improved, too. I was able to leverage my connection with Melissa to really grow my dancing.

But more importantly, I remember taking responsibility for my growth. I didn’t wait around for someone to tell me it was a good idea to practice. I just started practicing. I started learning more. I invested in myself and I took the action I wanted to take. I just started doing. No waiting. No getting permission.

And that, I remember, being such a critical key for my growth. Just having the audacity to do, simply, what I wanted to do. I didn’t ask. I didn’t wait for it to be a “good idea” by someone else’s standards. I listened to myself first and did what I thought was best.

At the start of the year I remember putting out an offer to get my first students/clients in dance. I was really upfront about my teaching, that I was new. It was through that honesty and my offer that I was able to get a few really awesome students in the first month of trying. From there I built my own little clientele of students who became my regulars.

I spent a lot of time in 2018 learning to be a better teacher, in combination with my accelerated dance progress. Throughout the year I became I locally recognized instructor, especially in West Coast Swing, as I was very committed to helping my students succeed. I was passionate about the dance and because of what dance in general has done for me and my life, I wanted to share that and help others experience their own magic, their own growth, and begin their own journey.

I made a commitment early on to attend a handful of West Coast Swing events throughout the year, too. I stayed with my heart and only went to events if they felt right. I also didn’t make it a major priority to “attend with other people” like I had done a few times in 2017. While I loved being around people, I made sure that I was attending an event because I knew it was right for me, first. Every event from the beginning of 2018 that I went to was from a point of courage and strength. I approached each event independently, even if I was with others.

The West Coast Swing club also took off in exciting ways, too. Our general attendance kept climbing throughout the year as I started working with new ideas to keep things fresh and to learn more about the process of running events and a community. I knew I would succeed because of my unique perspective and approach to just about everything in my life and in the projects I coordinated.

We were bringing in guest instructors from all over the place, both regionally and across the U.S. Events were happening more regularly and West Coast Swing became such a highlight of most dancers in our community. New people were coming into the dance so quickly that our community just grew and grew and grew. Everyone was so welcoming and inclusive of all types of people.

As the club grew, more and more people started to become hooked on West Coast Swing. So much that I was able to put together a tight-knit group of people that wanted to learn West Coast Swing at a faster rate. Other people that wanted to be where the Advanced and All-Star dancers were. We worked together to become those kinds of dancers because we enjoyed it so much. It wasn’t hard for me to put together those kinds of people and the events that would enable us to become better dancers because others were practically begging for more of it. It was effortless to get that group together.

Eularity took off as well. Since I was becoming better and better with my time, focus, and personal mindset, my ability to delegate, schedule, and be fully committed to what I’m working on in a given moment has allowed me to create a thriving gaming community that I love to be a part of and love helping to grow. The community had plenty going on, we had passionate members, and we leveraged our growing passionate community to create positive impact in any game we played in, as well as in the real world. I made it my mission to help people in the community, whether it was through in-game activities or help them out-of-game.

I remember in 2018 my leadership and communication skills improved so dramatically. It’s crazy looking back at the start of the year, when I was already making substantial progress, compared to where I am today. Because of this year, I’m an effective communicator and teacher, but also an effective leader in everything that I do and everything that I run. From the dance community, to my role in the Anchor Room, to my gaming communities, and to my online community.

My ability to lead and inspire was unimaginable at the beginning of the year.

My role in the Anchor Room only improved. I remember taking it upon myself to become an effective contributor in Melissa’s business, not because she asked, but because I wanted to. And through my commitment and following action, I created so much value in the business that it was hard to imagine me not being an integral part of the Anchor Room. Although I wasn’t paid much in the beginning, and only when I helped to teach, my contributions helped the business gain more value and I gained reimbursement in other ways. I learned new skills, I gave myself new confidence and permission, I developed discipline and responsibility, we collaboratively became an incredible force in the West Coast Swing world in our area, and the business overall grew so much – and the trickle-down effect made the investment financially worth it in the long run.

I remember later in the year I went to Burning Man, which was such an insane but incredible experience. I was already growing so quickly and so profoundly, but Burning Man was like a cherry on top. I made new connections, I got crazy new ideas, and I cultivated even MORE courage to be myself and to do the things I wanted to do in life.

The road to Burning Man was such a fun experience in itself. I already knew that I didn’t want Burning Man to be a solution or fix to anything in my life, and that I wanted to be able to bring the principles of Burning Man and my vision of what the event could do for me into my daily life, my personal way of being.

So the road to Burning Man was an incredible process of self-discovery, giving myself permission, practicing courage, and becoming fully responsible for myself, my happiness, and my growth. I didn’t wait for things to happen. I did them. I didn’t wait for someone to say “that’s a good idea,” I did it – and for myself. I found happiness through what I was doing, because I had done it and not because someone else had told me.

I remember having this incredible community of growth-minded people in my life. We met regularly, sometimes weekly, sometimes monthly, to talk about what we were working on in our lives, both professionally as well as soulfully. These people were warm, kind, encouraging, understanding. But together we challenged each-other not to stay small and to instead take on life as ambitiously as possible. We knew that nothing was impossible for us.

I remember 2018 was when my personal fitness and nutrition really started to improve. I started off nice and easy in the beginning to improve my health, but as I started to see the impact of eating healthier foods and becoming more active in my daily and weekly life, it became easier and more enjoyable to adapt my lifestyle around these changes. I remember giving up pop and drastically reduced sugar from my diet. It didn’t take long to see the positive aftermath of those two changes alone. But it went even further. I remember starting to eat more healthy foods, not just because they were better and had a positive impact on my health, but because they actually tasted better too.

It was also about the same time that I picked up a couple new hobbies and skills. I dabbled with a few different hobbies and activities that interested me until I picked a couple that really stuck with me. These activities helped me stay active, lose weight, and build muscle. I had more energy than ever before and I felt confident in who I was and what I looked like. And other activities helped me to express myself creatively and otherwise improved my dancing and other mental skills.

I even started updating my personal style. There was a lot of experimentation, but my style was varied – and very unique. I was known for being a little outlandish in my style choices, but it came as a compliment. And anytime someone laughed or judged me for what I was wearing, I shrugged it off and kept being me.

One of the first things for my “style” in 2018 was to dye my hair! I shopped around for a bit to find a look I wanted, but purple stood out to me the most. I opened up and trusted someone to do whatever they thought would look best. I offered my creative opinion, but I left it up to them to style it in a way that they thought would look best. I remember asking for advice on how to keep it styled, how to manage my hair. I looked so different after that and I loved it.

I was able to connect with a couple of people who could help me develop and refine my look in the various categories I wanted to pursue. I felt confident in everything I wore and it helped me to better represent who I was and who I wanted to be. I was even able to customize some of my clothing to be one of a kind.

I remember spending a lot more time with friends and family, especially those that resonated with what I believed in. I made a point of being more intentional with my time. But most importantly for me at the time, I remember that I was able to easily let go of my old story around these people. Regardless of what I thought they thought about me, I stayed completely true to who I was. It didn’t matter to me if it challenged their perception – I was going to be me and I would let them sort it out on their own.

And this approach allowed me to give myself completely to every interaction I had with every single person in my life this year. From strangers to family, but especially those closest to me in my friends and family circles. I made sure to spend time with them, listen to them, share who I was and what I wanted to do, as well as help them in any way that I could.

I also remember that I was more proactive in creating opportunities to connect and socialize. Regularly I would invite people over, I would host dance events, I’d have little meetups for personal growth, and I’d create fun experiences for people to take part of in my area. Just to hang out. Just to grow together. Just to create great experiences with great people. I was finally initiating things in my life and it felt wonderful.

2018 was also the time I really let go of a lot of clutter in my life. Physically, mentally, digitally, and relationally. If someone was bringing me down or was having a negative impact on my life or my mindset, I let them go. I began getting rid of more and more physical belongings as the year went on, especially as I moved into my own place. It was easier to see what was actually valuable and relevant in my life. My digital belongings drastically reduced. I no longer felt cluttered with everything that was so unorganized in my digital files and online assets and organizational resources.

Both my physical and digital environments were organized, but especially my home and workspaces. I was completely driven by having a neat, clean, and functional world. I had consciously designed all of my spaces to be as beautiful and useful as possible. I kept nothing that wasn’t relevant and I only displayed or put out anything that either made me excited, reminded me of my purpose and direction, or had some significant role in my day to day life.

Overall, I remember just being so much more connected with myself throughout all of 2018. I gave myself to every situation fully and intentionally. I was far happier and more joyful in every single interaction. Me as a “shy guy” wasn’t really a thing anymore. Even if I was still quiet by most standards, I still approached every situation with excitement, joy, happiness, and encouragement.

I finally felt like an independent person with independent thoughts, likes, dislikes, and so on. I wasn’t phased by other people’s opinions, and I validated myself through my own thoughts and feelings first. No-one could phase me in a negative way, because they bounced off as I learned that those thoughts and opinions weren’t me, regardless if there was any truth to them. If they didn’t excite me, I didn’t let it stick at all.

As I progressed through the year, my personal brand coalesced and became more tangible to myself. I was able to leverage everything I was learning to create an online presence around what I believed in and the kind of change I wanted to make in my world. It started off small, it looked selfish at first, but as I kept with it, I was able to help people improve their lives and find enjoyment through the various projects I was organizing.

By leveraging this new brand, I had created a conscious and intentional community, both online and offline, around the processes and beliefs that we all collectively shared. Even though it was a “group,” I still felt like an independent individual that was able to provide a positive impact to other people around me.

It was a really pivotal moment for me, that I was able to focus so exclusively and intentionally on my beliefs, the way I wanted to live my life, how I viewed life, and so on … but not to be jaded by others’ opinions. I kept doing my thing regardless of what people thought. I let the opinions of people who didn’t align just bounce right off and instead I was able to more proactively connect with those that did align. And through that kind of alignment, I was able to make a bigger impact in my own life as well as in the lives of others who found value in what I had to share, the activities I was putting together, and the overall ethos of what I was trying to share through my experiences.

Through all of the courageous steps I was taking, by better understanding who I was, by taking care of myself and by pushing myself to improve and progress in my life, I started connecting with more and more people. And through this, I met the most amazing lady. We were perfect for each-other, constantly supporting one another and challenging each-other not to live a life of mediocrity.

2018 was a year of being courageous, shameless, independent, creative, and contributional. I loved more in this year than ever before. I finally loved myself and I loved others unconditionally.

In 2018… I can truly say that I lived from the heart. I was doing everything on my Left Page. Nothing was impossible for me because I simply did and tried everything that felt important to me. Even in the moments where those things didn’t pan out well, I still learned a lot from those experiences. Even the failures were spectacularly beneficial for my life.

I stayed in my truth in every moment. I didn’t second-guess myself and I didn’t let the opinions of others change what I thought of myself, the belief systems I had, or what I wanted to accomplish.

And by sharing my truth, I was able to find and really connect with the kind of people that would help me create the kind of life I wanted to live. Those people became my tribe, my team, my supporters, and the community that I could support.

By living this intentional and heart-driven lifestyle, I was able to impact the world around me. Because I was actually doing things I wanted to do, or felt called to do, my personal life improved dramatically. But also, because I lived and operated from the heart, the lives of others around me also improved. I inspired others to pursue and live a life that mattered to them. I was able to contribute in different ways to different people, including strangers, friends, community members, and family alike.

This past year, I remember taking so much better care of myself. I was not only getting rid of clutter and junk out of my life, but I was so intentional with improving the quality of my life, health, mindset, and everything else.

I operated from in-to-out, or I stayed inward completely. The thoughts I used to have about other people didn’t exist because I relied on my own thoughts and opinions first. In moment to moment interactions, especially by myself, I consulted myself first. And my natural thought process was completely independent.

Every action, every thought, every intention went through MY heart and internal filters first. Being worried about others thoughts and opinions never even phased me.

I was always so focused on the task at hand. Distractions no longer had the same power that they used to. Even if I still had access to all of the same tools, internet, resources, people as I did before … I was no longer wandering about with aimlessness. I didn’t succumb to the need for distraction anymore. I was always, always so focused. I stayed with one thing or one person at a time. I had developed an incredible ability to pick one thing (or one person) to spend time with and stay completely focused on it without getting derailed until I was either done or had decided to put it down to work on something else.

For all of 2018 I moved with courage. Anytime I wanted to try something new, I simply did it. Anytime I wanted to try wearing something abnormal, I simply did it. Anytime I wanted to talk to someone, I simply walked over and said hello. Anytime I needed help, I asked for it.

I created so many amazing connections, partnerships, friendships, businesses, communities, projects, experiences, movements and creations by moving from the heart with courage.

In a nutshell, 2018 was amazing. The best year ever. Can you imagine 2019?!